tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34884757.post3855178872287752975..comments2023-09-10T08:16:50.741-04:00Comments on Postcards From Guyville: I Hate Myself For Loving Valentine's Day (The Fri(Mon)day List)ladyredhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04734674088879023259noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34884757.post-46194452114185059622007-02-14T09:36:00.000-05:002007-02-14T09:36:00.000-05:00But roy, have you given up on thoughtful and vulne...But roy, have you given up on thoughtful and vulnerable romantic gestures altogether? Because it seems like it's not V-Day's fault she was such an ass to you -- it's just one of the risks of putting yourself out there. Could've happened on any day of the year.<BR/><BR/>I'll confess I tend to agree with greenyQ, though -- I think I like valentine's better when I'm single, with or without a crush. When I'm coupled, it just feels like a lot of pressure to buy shit and feel a particular way on a particular day.<BR/><BR/>Still and all, consider the number of holidays dedicated to war and colonization and white guys: Presidents Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Columbus Day, Vet's Day, Thanksgiving -- that's just off the top of my head. If we're going to have official state holidays, isn't it good to have one that's at least in theory devoted to promoting love?<BR/><BR/>(Oh, and Elana -- happy Car Crash Day!)ladyredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04734674088879023259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34884757.post-27955276562980844412007-02-13T21:31:00.000-05:002007-02-13T21:31:00.000-05:00My Valentine's Day history is pretty interesting, ...My Valentine's Day history is pretty interesting, if I do say so myself.<BR/><BR/>Two years ago I'd been dating this guy for two weeks when v-day rolled around, and we decided not to make a big deal about it, so we planned on cooking dinner together and just hanging out.<BR/><BR/>On our way to the grocery store to buy stuff for dinner, I went into a skid and totalled my car... both of us were fine, my car died an undignified death, we spent the rest of the evening waiting for a tow truck (and making out in the back of my new wreck. Hey, it was cold...).<BR/><BR/>When we got back to campus, my then-boyfriend told me she was actually a transwoman, and she found out I was bi and had no issues with the whole thing. But still a pretty big day. <BR/><BR/>We broke up a couple of months ago, and this is the first v-day since then that I don't have anyone to celebrate Car Crash Day with. And to top it all off the ex and I are still closely in touch doing the on-again-off-again thing...<BR/><BR/>Maybe I'll write myself a love letter while eating lots of good chocolate and making myself my favorite dinner (and not driving anywhere, at all) :)<BR/><BR/>I can't bring myself to hate Valentine's as much as I should either... even though I hate the Hallmarkization of the whole thing, there's still something nice about a day that celebrates love and romance passion and reckless expressions of feeling and big gestures (which I like in spite of myself). Just because all those things can go awry doesn't mean celebrating them is a bad idea. There needs to be a place on the calendar for extravagance, sometimes.<BR/><BR/>I might feel differently when all my friends are being couple-y tomorrow though.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10789481504825855674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34884757.post-7364109674564455342007-02-13T15:39:00.000-05:002007-02-13T15:39:00.000-05:00as a quirkyalone and a romantic grrrl, i [heart] v...as a quirkyalone and a romantic grrrl, i [heart] v-day only when i'm truly single and have a fat phat crush. for me this is the most fun. mooning over someone all day at work then being with my post-work self at home-peaceful-home cooking up a vegandelicious meal complete with dark chocolate (w/ ginger crystals, please!) , organic red wine, candles (yes red) music by india arie, and romantic letter writing to my best west coast pen pals. which is to describe my juicy luxurious plan for Heartday 2007. no consumerism. no pressure. all delight and personal indulgence. i am such a brilliant date for myself.<BR/><BR/>although the aforementioned crush (only) vaguely recalls my existance on planet earth, i have a Huge Skip In My Step when i think of her. mmmmmmm. such fantastic fun. truly.<BR/><BR/>also i dig the vagina monologues season of the Vaginatines Day.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34884757.post-76346265373564552442007-02-12T14:32:00.000-05:002007-02-12T14:32:00.000-05:00the commercialization of the whole shebang really ...the commercialization of the whole shebang really ruins any romance of valentine's day for me. plus, the *pressure*! i don't want someone doing something sweet and romantic for me because of what the calender says--i want hir to do if and only if ze wants to, when and only when ze wants to. <BR/><BR/>plus, don't we single folks have enough crap floating around in the culture trying to make us lonely? i have some friends who try to use the holiday to show love to all the people in their lives--but why wait for one day a year to do that?<BR/><BR/>which leads me to ask, ladyred: doesn't having the one day where you're "supposed" to express this stuff make it a lot easier for people to hold it back? shouldn't we be encouraging a social environment where it's easier to express those good and scary feelings anytime?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34884757.post-51700360983702837842007-02-12T13:35:00.000-05:002007-02-12T13:35:00.000-05:00I haven't been a fan of Valentine's day in quite s...I haven't been a fan of Valentine's day in quite some time, but there was a particular event that pushed it over into full-on hate. <BR/><BR/>My first year away at college I had met and gotten sort of involved with a girl on the first floor of the dorm I was staying in. She was slightly awkward, and had very little dating experience, but she was interesting and cute, and there had been some flirting and such, so we ended up going on a few dates. Things seemed to be going well, if slowly, and she and I had talked about where we saw things going, and she'd said she was happy, and that she thought of me as "potentially boyfriend material." <BR/>So, with Valentine's Day coming, I decided to make a card for her. I spent hours cutting out scraps of paper and designing this card- it was, if I do say, <I>fantastic.</I> It was heart-shaped, obviously, and I'd cut out this scraps of red and white and pink, and decoupaged them, with a cut-out of a ruby heart in the middle. I wove lace through it to create a hinge for the back of the card, and then I wrote a little poem inside using a nice black caligraphy marker, and went over the letters with a fine gold pen to create gold highlights on the letters. <BR/>I <I>still</I> think it was a pretty awesome card.<BR/>I also bought a small vase and painted it, and got a rose and a small box of candy, and I had her roomie set these up in their room while she was away at class. We walked back from class together like we always did, and when she got in the room, she found the card/flower/candy, read the card, tossed it back on the table, said "Oh. Well. That's nice." Then she said she'd see us later, she was going to study and grab lunch. I just sort of stared at her, and watched her leave. <BR/>Needless to say, that wasn't <I>quite</I> the reaction I had been expecting.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com