Sunday, September 24, 2006

How to Be Irresistible to Men

Lately, the primary way I've been meeting guys is through online dating sites, especially ones that tend to skew progressive. Last weekend I emailed this cuuuuuuuute guy with just the right blend of pop culture references, political/intellectual seriousness, and self-effacing humor in his profile. The holy grail, right? And lo and behold, he wrote back. And back and back and back.

So we've got this great little flirtation humming, where he tells me about his tattoo but refuses to say where it is, and I describe in detail one of my favorite secret local places to go, etc. We exchange revealing information about our romantic histories without crossing the line into TMI. He confesses to watching Gilmore Girls and tells me I have incredible eyes. Even Google knows what's going on -- every time I compose or read one of our emails, it gives me a sponsored link for a site called "How to Be Irresistible to Men."

And then. He mentions something about having a diary on Daily Kos. And I mention something about what a boys' club it is. All the flirting stops. After a few exchanges, he concedes that he can see that Kos does slant toward linking to boys, and he can see how that would be a problem if you're a "committed feminist." And I write back with a treatise on why it's actually a problem for everyone, even his white male self, and how it's replicating the sexist structures of the corporate media. And then I say (to be fair, he asked), that I was starting to hesitate about him because he seems to lack an analysis of how structural misogyny functions. Because I am stupid and do not actually want to get laid.

And then, silence. Two days of it.

UPDATE: Got an email today saying he wasn't blowing me off but hadn't had the time yet to write a thoughtful response. But I want to get involved with a guy so deeply in need of schooling, even if he's open to it, which remains to be seen? Or am I being completely ridiculous here?

1 comment:

susannah said...

It's no fun to be your SO's women's studies teacher...