Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Couldn't They Have Called It A Hard Off?

Two experiences I have recently had:

1) I'm at a bar with some friends. (OK, full disclosure, I'm at a bar with some friends for my ex's birthday celebration.) The band rocks, and I'm dancing my ass off. I've had a couple of drinks. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy I know. He runs a local venue I perform at sometimes. We've always been friendly, and he's a good looking guy. I'm also 80% sure I've heard him talk about a wife. This will be relevant.

So I run up to him all happy to see him, and I give him a hug. And he tells me he didn't know I was such a "hot dancer." And then he holds onto my hand when I'm attempting to let go. Still, I pretend to think we're just friend-flirting. He says, "I may have to ask you to dance later." I say, "I'll say yes..." and run off to rejoin my friends.

It's later. He's standing on the outskirts of the dance floor, watching me. I pretend I don't have a weird feeling about it and ask him if he's going to dance with me. Which he does by grabbing me around the waist and sort of forcing me to slow dance with him. And his erect penis. I can feel precise arc with which it curves to the right. It is not a slow song. I try to take a step back and pick up the pace, dancing-wise, but he's having none of it. He grabs my waist back and slows down even further. I finally have to make some lame excuse about not wanting to ditch my friends, and I run off. Emphasis on the word run.

2)I'm at a conference. Right away, approaching the registration table, I notice a seriously hot guy. Turns out, the friend I'm there with, whom I'll call M, vaguely knows him. I figure he's way out of my league and do nothing.

The next day, he actually walks up to us and starts flirting with me. He's pretty blatant, but it still takes a while for me to pick up on it, because it has entirely not occurred to me that he would even notice me. But there it is. He wants to know if I'm going to the party that night. Of course I am. He walks off. I giggle and freak out about it with M over dinner. We plan strategy. We go to the party. Is he there? Where is he? Is he in there? Finally, an hour later, I'm in the bathroom and M rushes in. He's there. We flirt like mad for like two hours. There's dancing. Then I start flagging but he wants to stay, so he asks me for my cell and says he'll call in a bit.

An hour and a half later, just as I'm finishing brushing my teeth, he calls. Can he come by? I'm pretty tired but very excited and looking forward to some quality making out. He comes over, reeking of pot. He sits on the bed and says nothing. I join him. He does not kiss me. He just climbs up on me and starts rubbing his body all over me. This goes on for a minute or two. I try to kiss him and he thrusts his tongue into my mouth like a piston a few times. I pull away. He starts in with the rubbing again, and I send him home.


Now, I may have been away for them for a very long time, but I like penises. I really do. I like how responsive and direct they are, how concrete. I've even had one inside me recently (more on that soon, I promise). But this just feels, well, weird. In a profoundly eww kinda way. Is this something I'm going to need to develop a tolerance for? Please someone tell me no...

1 comment:

curiousgyrl said...

No, do not develop a tolerence for that. But somepeople never get told no, so they have to be educated