The Man/Child

Had a date yesterday with a Man/Child. I had forgotten about the Man/Child, how he seems so grown-up on the surface. This one is getting a Ph.D. in computer science, has a background in English lit and some fluency in French, trained and worked as a professional chef with a direct disciple of Alice Waters, and was, as far as I could tell from our emails and our lovely first date over brunch, clever and funny and charming and smart and respectful. Added bonus: his very first girlfriend was a lesbian before and after him, so not only is he not freaked out by me, but he claims to have been very well trained.

Who could resist? Certainly not me. We arranged a Big Second Date, in which if the weather was good, we would go for a hike in a nearby wildlife sanctuary, and if it was poor, we'd go to a museum. (Both activities were his ideas.) Either way, afterward we'd adjourn to my place where he'd cook for me, and I'd make dessert. Ahem.

The weather looked good. I bought wine and condoms, gave myself a facial, caught up with my laundry so I could select just the right sweater. My roommate gamely agreed to amscray for the evening.

On the surface of it, the date was fun: we got caught in traffic but didn't run out of conversation, there was flirting, there was a first kiss sitting on a rock in the woods. Immediately after which he apologized just in case he was being too forward.

Sadly, that was not the first bad sign. There was also the part where he told me all about his love of playing Grand Theft Auto, and how it most certainly was not a gateway to misogyny and violence, just good innocent fun. And pimping hos isn't even a central part of the game -- you can skip it altogether if you want!

There was also the really fun bit where I made a joke about something or other being like reading Playboy for the articles, and he kinda laughed and confessed that he did, in fact, have a subscription to said fine publication, which of course he obtained in order to appreciate its literary merits.

He also ordered tuna tacos at dinner. I kid you not. And yes, it was largely so he could joke about it the whole time.

I slept with him anyway. Because I am sad and desperate and still terribly curious. It was pretty fun but I felt kinda gross afterward. I'm going to try only to sleep with people I actually like from here on out.