The Dates Are Getting Worse

Just got back from the worst one yet. Boring and homely, couldn't hold up a conversation, just said "mmhm, mmhm, mmhm" to everything equally, however exciting or mundane. (No joke: he seemed equally interested in the logistics of using TiVo without cable as he was in the intricate vision I have for my next writing project.) He was much more interesting over email! A playwright with a slightly wicked sense of humor! And a flirty streak! All of which was completely absent throughout the whole of dinner! Seriously, I knew I was dead before we even ordered, but what do you do?

To make matters worse, I've already sorta invited him to A) a show I happen to have free tix to on Sunday and B) a show I'm IN on Friday night. A) happened because he's a playwright and we were talking about something that reminded me of the tickets and I just figured he was interesting enough that he'd be good company regardless of the attraction and I'M AN IDIOT. B) happened because I told him about the show I'm in in the context of scheduling issues and he asked for more info and, to review, I'M AN IDIOT.

Of course, the part I'm not talking about is the bad teeth and the balding hairline, because I want to pretend that looks don't matter. I even kind of expected him to be not that great looking because his photo on his profile was sort of... vague. But let me just say that once we met it came not as a shock to learn that he had once dressed as Dick Cheney.

Which brings me to ask: what's the deal with looks? Can we talk about them? I keep trying to tell myself not to be super-picky in the looks department, not only because most of the hot guys seem like jerks, not only because you can't really tell that much from a digital photo, but also because of how much I hate to be judged on looks myself. Aren't we all going to lose our looks in the end? I'm sure as hell never going to be better looking, physically, than I am right now. But what about chemistry? And who do the homely people date? Do they have different standards? So why should I think I'm so hot? I just can't square this circle quite yet...